ACT, EMDR, and the Word That Names Codependency
In this episode of Therapeutically Aligned, I sit down with Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist based in Petaluma, California, who works with individuals and couples using ACT, DBT, EMDR, and the Gottman Method.
From Sociology to the EEOC to Psychology
Jen's path into the field wasn't a straight line. She majored in sociology, worked at a domestic violence nonprofit, and spent time as a federal investigator for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission before going to graduate school in her mid-20s. That work, sitting with people who'd experienced discrimination and just wanted to be heard, kept pulling her toward psychology.
Why ACT Is Named for Action
Jen offers one of the clearest explanations of "third wave" therapies I've heard: these are approaches like ACT and DBT that bring Eastern mindfulness principles into Western therapeutic frameworks. She explains why ACT is spelled out as a word rather than an acronym: a deliberate reminder that we have to act toward our values, rather than waiting to feel ready first.
One of her central teaching tools is the difference between pain and suffering: pain is unavoidable, but suffering often comes from how hard we work to avoid the pain in the first place.
Rock Climbing as Trauma Work
A newer niche in Jen's practice: she's a certified rock climbing guide who brings therapy out to the rocks, working with clients on fear, safety, and trauma in an outdoor setting.
"Makesuring": A Word for Codependency
The standout moment of this conversation is a term Jen made up over a decade ago. She caught her then-3-year-old son circling around his baby brother, trying to keep him from falling, and he explained: "I'm makesuring he doesn't fall down."
Jen has used the word ever since to describe the well-intentioned habit of managing other people's outcomes for them; in couples, in parenting, in friendships. It's a gentle but sharp way of naming codependency and people-pleasing.
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